Not a one way street.

I always hear this question going around, "What happened to all the nice guys?" well the answer is, they have moved on.

Try it, think back hard enough. You might remember a very simple guy who was always on your tail and always wanted to spend time as much time with you. He does the littlest things that your perfect boyfriend does not do anymore. Shopping for example. Your boyfriend might hate it and does the other guy, but he will walk around with you for hours just to please you. Another would be when you asked him to stop by and watch a movie with you because you were lonely and did not want the world to see you the way you were. Or maybe stop by because you needed someone to lend you a shoulder while you sobbed about how horribly your boyfriend treated you.

At the time, during your girls night out, movie night, or little slumber parties; you were laughing with your friends about how we was like a little puppy dog. He followed you around and did things to impress you and to get you to pay attention to him although you might not realize it, because what he did was too cute. You were teased by your friends, assuming that he had a crush on you which was the case, given his behavior showed it. Of course, you fervently denied this thought and fortified your position by claiming you were just friends. And besides, he was not your type any way, right? You think he was just a little too short, too fat, too poor, or he did not know how to dress himself. He pretty much could not be or do the things that your current boyfriend does.

Eventually, your short, fat, not so good-looking friend drifts away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you were not dating him. And as time passed, your perfect boyfriend cheated on you, bored you, or you finally realize that the traits the he possesses which attracted you to him were not meant for a good, long-term relationship. And so, you walk around cursing the world and asking, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Another simple answer: You drove them away.

You ignored the good in front of you. You only used him for your needs to cope with your emotional feelings. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive “just-a-” friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women are not really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you are upset; or hold you when you cry.

He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he would have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, bought you Juicy Couture, and generally acted more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be. Fact is, now, he is probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I am sorry that it took the complete absence of “nice guys” in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

Please stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you have fucked yourself over. You are getting older, after all. It is time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You did not want a nice guy then, and he certainly does not want you now.

Counter-argument: I liked him but it was his fault for not making a move. He was too weak and unassertive.

Well, what if the guy does not have that assertiveness in his genes? What if the way he shows his affection is through the intangibles instead of the intangibles? You might have experienced it already but you still chose the other guy anyway, because you were socially pressured or whatever else kind of bullshit you have. You probably heard it before, "Love is not a one way street."

For generations now, it is usually a man that proposes his love for a woman. But just because that is the case, it does not always have to be that way. Love goes both ways. The other one gives while the other one takes, and vise-versa.